Cherishing Kinsmen
Uzhaippirindhu Kaaranaththin Vandhaanai Vendhan / Izhaith Thirundhu Ennik Kolal
Classical English couplet — “Who causeless went away, then to return, for any cause, ask leave;The king should sift their motives well, consider, and receive”
What it says in plain words
“When someone who left returns seeking help, offer the help they need. Think carefully about their reasons before welcoming them back.”
The classical Tamil reading
தன்னிடமிருந்து பிரிந்து சென்று பின் ஒருக் காரணம்பற்றித் திரும்பிவந்தவனை, அரசன் அவன் நாடிய உதவியைச் செய்து ஆராய்ந்து உறவு கொள்ள வேண்டும்.
An expanded Tamil interpretation
ஏதோ காரணம் கற்பித்துப் பிரிந்து போய், மீண்டும் தலைவனிடம் தக்க காரணத்தினால் வந்தவரை, நன்கு ஆராய்ந்து ஏற்றுக் கொள்ளல் வேண்டும்
The ethical and philosophical heart
Someone who left may return because they need your help. Their return deserves care, but also a closer look. You can help while thinking carefully about renewing the relationship. This gives you room to understand why they have returned.
In personal life, work and society
- Personal
- Help an old friend who returns, then consider why they want to reconnect.
- Workplace
- Hear a former worker’s request, offer help, and carefully consider bringing them back.
- Family
- Help a relative who returns after time apart, then discuss rebuilding your relationship.
- Society
- Help a former community member with their request before considering their return to the group.
How to apply this today
- Decision-making
- Understand why someone has returned before deciding how to welcome them back.
- Integrity
- Offer needed help while taking care over the renewed relationship.
- Communication
- Ask kindly what brought the person back and what help they need.
- Leadership
- Help a returning team member, then carefully consider their place in the team.
- Governance
- Consider a former official’s request for help separately from their return to office.
For leaders and teams
When someone returns, combine kindness with careful thought. Help with their need, and understand their reasons before rebuilding ties.
Something to sit with
“How could you help someone returning to your life while understanding their reasons more clearly?”