Benignity
Oruththaatrum Panpinaar Kannumkan Notip / Poruththaatrum Panpe Thalai
Classical English couplet — “To smile on those that vex, with kindly face,Enduring long, is most excelling grace”
What it says in plain words
“Even when someone hurts you, showing patience and kindness is best. This is true even when they deserve punishment.”
The classical Tamil reading
தண்டித்தற்குரிய தன்மை உடையவரிடத்திலும் கண்ணோட்டம் செய்து ( அவர் செய்த குற்றத்தைப்) பொருத்துக் காக்கும் பண்பே சிறந்தது.
An expanded Tamil interpretation
அழிக்க நினைத்திடும் இயல்புடையவரிடத்திலும் பொறுமை காட்டுவது மிக உயர்ந்த பண்பாகும்
The ethical and philosophical heart
When someone hurts us, we may want to hurt them back. The couplet praises patience even toward those who hurt us. This kindness reaches even people who mean to harm us. Their wrong still matters, but we can choose a patient response.
In personal life, work and society
- Personal
- When a friend mocks you, explain your hurt without mocking them back.
- Workplace
- When a coworker unfairly blames you, explain what happened without insulting them.
- Family
- When your child breaks a rule, listen calmly before responding.
- Society
- When a neighbor speaks harshly, answer without returning the insult.
How to apply this today
- Decision-making
- Pause before deciding how to respond to someone who hurt you.
- Integrity
- Keep treating people kindly, even when they treat you badly.
- Communication
- Explain what hurt you without using words meant to hurt back.
- Leadership
- Hear someone out patiently, even when their mistake deserves a penalty.
- Governance
- Treat people who break rules with patience and kindness when considering penalties.
For leaders and teams
When someone does wrong, lead with patience and kindness. Listen before deciding how to respond, even when you could punish.
Something to sit with
“What would a patient, kind response look like toward someone who upset you today?”