Friendship
Nakudhar Poruttandru Nattal Mikudhikkan / Mersenaru Itiththar Poruttu
Classical English couplet — “Nor for laughter only friendship all the pleasant day,But for strokes of sharp reproving, when from right you stray”
What it says in plain words
“Friendship is not just about laughing and having fun together. It also means speaking firmly when a friend goes wrong.”
The classical Tamil reading
நட்புச் செய்தல் ஒருவரோடு ஒருவர் சிரித்து மகிழும் பொருட்டு அன்று, நண்பர் நெறிக்கடந்து செல்லும் போது முற்ப்பட்டுச் சென்று இடித்துரைப்பதற்காகும்.
An expanded Tamil interpretation
நட்பு என்பது சிரித்து மகிழ்வதற்காக அல்ல; நண்பர்கள் நல்வழி தவறிச் செல்லும்பொழுது இடித்துரைத்துத் திருத்துவதற்காகும்
The ethical and philosophical heart
Good friends enjoy happy times, but their care goes further. When a friend does something wrong, staying silent can let it continue. Real friendship includes the courage to speak up. A firm warning can help a friend change their actions.
In personal life, work and society
- Personal
- You firmly tell a friend not to drive after drinking.
- Workplace
- You tell a work friend to stop taking credit for someone else's work.
- Family
- You ask your sister to stop making hurtful jokes about your brother.
- Society
- You tell a friend to stop sharing false stories about a neighbor.
How to apply this today
- Decision-making
- Choose to speak up when a friend's actions could hurt someone.
- Integrity
- Do not excuse a friend's wrongdoing just to keep them happy.
- Communication
- Clearly name the harmful action and ask your friend to stop.
- Leadership
- Welcome people who tell you firmly when you are wrong.
- Governance
- Challenge wrongdoing by public officials, even when they are your friends.
For leaders and teams
Make room for honest words, even when uncomfortable. People who challenge your mistakes can help you lead better.
Something to sit with
“Where might a friend need your honest words rather than your silence today?”