Investigation in forming Friendships
Oodhiyam Enpadhu Oruvarkup Pedhaiyaar / Kenmai Oreei Vital
Classical English couplet — “'Tis gain to any man, the sages say,Friendship of fools to put away”
What it says in plain words
“Leaving a friendship with someone who acts foolishly can be a gain, not a loss.”
The classical Tamil reading
ஒருவனுக்கு ஊதியம் என்று சொல்லப்படுவது, அறிவில்லாதவறுடன் செய்து கொண்ட நட்பிலிருந்து நீங்கி அவரைக் கைவிடுதலாகும்.
An expanded Tamil interpretation
ஒருவருக்குக் கிடைத்த நற்பயன் என்பது அவர் அறிவில்லாத ஒருவருடன் கொண்டிருந்த நட்பைத் துறந்து விடுவதேயாகும்
The ethical and philosophical heart
Not every friendship is good for us to keep. A friend's foolish choices can draw us into trouble too. Leaving may feel like losing someone important in our lives. Yet stepping away can be a gain when that friendship brings poor choices.
In personal life, work and society
- Personal
- You leave a friendship with someone who keeps urging you to waste your savings.
- Workplace
- You stop being close friends with a coworker who encourages careless work.
- Family
- You step away from a friend who urges you to ignore your family's needs.
- Society
- You leave a circle of friends who treat damaging public spaces as fun.
How to apply this today
- Decision-making
- Consider whether keeping a friendship draws you into foolish choices.
- Integrity
- Step away from a friend who keeps encouraging you to cheat.
- Communication
- Explain your decision to leave a friendship without insulting the other person.
- Leadership
- Do not keep close friends whose poor choices you feel pressured to follow.
- Governance
- Public officials should step back from friendships that encourage careless use of public money.
For leaders and teams
For anyone leading others, ending an unwise friendship can help. You need not follow a friend's poor choices to stay loyal.
Something to sit with
“What might you gain by stepping away from a friendship that encourages poor choices?”