The Possession of Self-restraint
Yaakaavaa Raayinum Naakaakka Kaavaakkaal / Sokaappar Sollizhukkup Pattu
Classical English couplet — “Whate'er they fail to guard, o'er lips men guard should keep;If not, through fault of tongue, they bitter tears shall weep”
What it says in plain words
“Whatever else you fail to control, be careful with your words. Careless words can bring trouble and pain into your own life.”
The classical Tamil reading
காக்க வேண்டியவற்றுள் எவற்றைக் காக்கா விட்டாலும் நாவையாவது காக்க வேண்டு்ம்; காக்கத் தவறினால் சொற்குற்றத்தில் அகப்பட்டுத் துன்புறுவர்.
An expanded Tamil interpretation
ஒருவர் எதைக் காத்திட முடியாவிட்டாலும் நாவையாவது அடக்கிக் காத்திட வேண்டும் இல்லையேல் அவர் சொன்ன சொல்லே அவர் துன்பத்துக்குக் காரணமாகி விடும்
The ethical and philosophical heart
The couplet asks us to take care with words, whatever else we neglect. Something said in anger can lead to lasting trouble. A harsh comment may damage a friendship or start a family argument. Pausing before speaking helps us avoid pain caused by our own words.
In personal life, work and society
- Personal
- When a friend upsets you, pause before sending an angry message.
- Workplace
- Explain a mistake to your coworker without calling them names.
- Family
- During an argument, describe your concern without insulting your partner.
- Society
- Before posting in a community group, remove words that insult others.
How to apply this today
- Decision-making
- Before speaking, consider what trouble your words might cause.
- Integrity
- Take responsibility for hurtful words instead of making excuses.
- Communication
- Explain what bothers you without turning it into an insult.
- Leadership
- When correcting someone, focus on the mistake rather than attacking the person.
- Governance
- Public officials should choose words carefully when addressing community disagreements.
For leaders and teams
When people depend on you, pause before you speak, especially when angry. Careless words can turn a small problem into a bigger one.
Something to sit with
“Where in your life today could more careful words prevent trouble?”