The Possession of Self-restraint
Ondraanun Theechchol Porutpayan Untaayin / Nandraakaa Thaaki Vitum
Classical English couplet — “Though some small gain of good it seem to bring,The evil word is parent still of evil thing”
What it says in plain words
“Even one harmful word can spoil the good in your speech. The hurt it causes can undo the good you have done.”
The classical Tamil reading
தீய சொற்களின் பொருளால் விளையும் தீமை ஒன்றாயினும் ஒருவனிடம் உண்டானால், அதனால் மற்ற அறங்களாலும் நன்மை விளையாமல் போகும்.
An expanded Tamil interpretation
ஒரு குடம் பாலில் துளி நஞ்சுபோல், பேசும் சொற்களில் ஒரு சொல் தீய சொல்லாக இருந்து துன்பம் விளைவிக்குமானாலும், அந்தப் பேச்சில் உள்ள நல்ல சொற்கள் அனைத்தும் தீயவாகிவிடும்
The ethical and philosophical heart
Good words do not cancel the hurt caused by a cruel word. A friend may remember one insult more than many kind comments. This is why every word needs care, even during a disagreement. Think about the hurt your words could cause before speaking.
In personal life, work and society
- Personal
- You remove a hurtful insult from a message before sending it.
- Workplace
- You explain a coworker's mistake without calling them stupid.
- Family
- You discuss a broken rule without telling your child they are worthless.
- Society
- You question a local plan without insulting the people supporting it.
How to apply this today
- Decision-making
- Before speaking, consider whether one harsh word could spoil your whole message.
- Integrity
- Keep hurtful words out of your speech, even when your aim is good.
- Communication
- Explain what upset you without attacking the other person.
- Leadership
- Correct mistakes without adding insults that make your helpful advice harder to hear.
- Governance
- Address public concerns without using words that shame the people raising them.
For leaders and teams
When guiding others, correct without causing hurt. One cruel word can spoil the good in your advice.
Something to sit with
“What words could you choose today to express disagreement without causing hurt?”