Restraining Anger
Sellaa Itaththuch Chinandheedhu Sellitaththum / Iladhanin Theeya Pira
Classical English couplet — “Where power is none to wreak thy wrath, wrath importent is ill;Where thou hast power thy will to work, 'tis greater, evil still”
What it says in plain words
“Anger toward someone stronger than you can bring you harm. Toward someone weaker, nothing does more harm than anger.”
The classical Tamil reading
பலிக்காத இடத்தில் (தன்னை விட வலியவரிடத்தில்) சினம் கொள்வது தீங்கு. பலிக்கும் இடத்திலும் (மெலியவரித்திலும்) சினத்தைவிடத் தீயவை வேறு இல்லை.
An expanded Tamil interpretation
வலியோரிடம் சினம் கொண்டால், அதனால் கேடு விளையும் மெலியோரிடம் சினம் கொண்டாலும் அதைவிடக் கேடு வேறொன்றுமில்லை
The ethical and philosophical heart
Anger can cause harm whether you have power or not. Anger toward someone stronger can bring trouble back to you. Toward someone weaker, it can hurt someone who cannot push back. The lesson is to hold back anger in both situations.
In personal life, work and society
- Personal
- You step away from an angry stranger instead of shouting back.
- Workplace
- You explain a mistake to a junior worker without shouting.
- Family
- You speak calmly when your child spills water on your work.
- Society
- A public official listens to a complaint without threatening the person.
How to apply this today
- Decision-making
- Wait until your anger settles before deciding how to respond.
- Integrity
- Show the same self-control with people above and below you.
- Communication
- Explain what upset you without insults or threats.
- Leadership
- Correct mistakes without using your power to frighten people.
- Governance
- Handle complaints fairly rather than punishing people who make you angry.
For leaders and teams
When others depend on you, your anger can do great harm. Address the problem without making them afraid to speak.
Something to sit with
“Where could holding back your anger protect you or someone with less power today?”